An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
it’s honestly really bad that this is supposed to be a personal blogging website, and most of us are scared to post our opinions in fear of getting called out by others because people do not know how to respect the fact that others have different opinions on things
do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
every american i’ve talked to on skype asked about bagged milk so far
what the hell is bagged milk?
IT’S JUST MILK
IN A BAG
WHY IS THIS SUCH A STRANGE CONCEPT
BECAUSE IF YOU OPEN IT, DOESN’T IT GO EVERYWHERE?
HOW DO YOU EVEN
WHAT THE FUCK IS BAGGED WATER
WHY ARE YOU BAGGING DRINKS?
am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs
Okay so you know these glasses right?
I was in class and I put them on. And, being the dramatic smartass I am I turned to my friend and said, with the most conviction I could muster, “Behold- I am now ten times funnier.”
And she looked at me- looked at me dead in the eyes- and said very seriously:
“Ten times zero… is still zero”
Your friend just went up all the levels
oh. my. god.
I can’t just like something
I gotta go balls out crazy obsessive over it
be nice to people
bc most people are already sad so like
why be mean
Are men really complaining about the zesty italian commercial?
It must be so hard
To be oversexualized in advertising
once i was sick so i got a prescription for codeine cough syrup and when i went to pick it up the pharmacist was like “you really won’t need all of this” and i was like “it’s ok i could just sell it at school” and he was like “YEAAAAAAAH FUTURE PHARMACIST” and fist bumped me
ok apparently this pharmacist is my brother’s old pot dealer
his name is scooter